Eurovision 2012: Terry Vision. The Man. The Legend. The Interview
If there's one man showing them all how it's done in Azerbaijan this year than it's Terry Vision (pictured, left. But you knew that). Known to millions across the globe - and very possibly beyond - the much-loved commentator has foregone his much publicised retirement from microphone duty to join Ewan Spence and his ESC Insight team to document all the goings-on in Baku. We at Boom Bang a Blog are privileged to have been given a few moments of Sir Vision's time in an attempt to both get some info out of him and shamefully try and benefit from a spot of fabulousness osmosis. It didn't work, yer man is far too clever to give anything away.
BOOM BANG A BLOG: Terry, we're delighted that you've decided to come out of retirement for Baku. What encouraged you to do it this year?
TERRY VISION: A funny story there. Mrs Vision is in dire need of the car, and I did ask around the usual places, but that young Mr Chris is doing such sterling work on the Breakfast Show that the only option was to do something around this year's Eurovision Song Contest. Lucky me.
You've been in Baku for more than a week now. Which act would you say has been most impressed by your unique charm?
Oh, the lovely girl from Macedonia. Caledonia has a lovely voice and a nature that reminds me of... what's the term... a cougar? Yes, her.
Every commentator arriving in Baku will be hanging on your every word of advice as to how best convey the events on the Eurovision stage. What sage nuggets will you be proffering to them?
The same advice as always. Don't take it seriously, if you see a duck on stage you have to say it's a duck (that's stealing our jobs), and try to not open the Baileys until the eighth song.
What do you think of Azerbaijan's cuisine? Is it in full flow in the press centre?
If you love nuts, then yes, there's a huge amount of nuts. And orange juice called "Portugal". The Azeri Vodka has a nice kick to it, but I need to work out how to get that past security.
You're a superstar of as yet undefined proportions. I imagine your press centre rider is fairly extensive, can you give us an idea of what's on there?
Baileys. Ice. A Glass. And two pairs of earplugs, one for the show, and a second set for when the first set crumble under the assault of this year's entries.
We know you have extensive experience of working in Contests past. Are there any juicy backstage titbits you could share with Boom Bang a Blog that we may never have heard before?
You know, I could never betray confidences, so let's not talk of Ulrika and Dana International at Birmingham.
Can you let us know what you'll be wearing on Saturday night for the big show?
Many years ago, Wallace Greenslade told me that any radio broadcaster needs to wear a tie. And I still do. But I'm half tempted to pop on a "One Year Out!" T-shirt just to show some problems with my old sparring partner.
You and The Hump must go back years, your careers enjoying a similar longevity. Will you be joining him for a few balls of whisky in a quiet moment of rehearsal week?
A few? I've an entire bar lined up! If I'm lucky, old Humpers will cancel so Old Deadly and I can drink it dry.
Eurovision is arguably becoming more gimmick-ridden with each year. For example, in 2008, Ireland sent Dustin, a turkey from a children's television programme. Do puppets have any place at the Contest?
Of course they do. Look carefully, and you'll see that Sweden have actually sent Janice, from the popular beat combo "Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem."
I appreciate the whole world wants a piece of you at the moment, Terry. Do you have any final words for Boom Bang a Blog readers before the Eurovision whirligig whisks you away from us once more?
Don't bother with it, it's all political anyway. Settle down and watch "One Man and his Dog" instead. that's a real competition!