Eurovision 2012: We need to chet about Ralph
I'm late, I know. You should have given me a poke. About 13 years ago (well, it was less than a week really) the modified Zuckerberg legal team-pleasing version of the San Marinese entry to Baku was unveiled.
Now called The Social Network Song, this Ralph Siegel-penned homage to a remarkable invention called the internet which, it seems, nobody had ever heard about (or its potential to make contact with people on the other side of the globe) until this year. Have you used the internet yet? It's brilliant. You can find out the different types of cheese. All of them.
In other news, now that this song has been tweaked to remove any hint of possible advertising, it no longer has a chorus. Wherever one originally found the words 'face' and 'book' all that remains is an 'oh' or a 'beep'. What it has done is make an already ridiculous song redonkulously ridiculouser. But you'll still find a reference to cybersex. Ralph, you cheeky social monkey.
However. There are not many tunes this year which are all out portions of shameless Europop. This is one of them. That may just see San Marino squeak through to Saturday night for the very first time. Your mouse heard it here first.