Eurovision 1988: Celine Dion wins. Ugh.

Irish television once again made a huge effort to shine via Eurovision hostibng duty. The same arena at the Royal Dublin Society that had been used in 1981 was employed as the venue again with some ingenious perspective-trickery carried out with neon tubing to make the small performance space look a lot bigger than it really was. Video walls, that pre-requisite of late '80s TV productions, made their first appearance at the Contest and for the first time ever, the scoreboard was not a physical prop to the side of the stage but a computer graphic that could be called up whenever the director thought it necessary.

That was a real shame, as a scoreboard has always been synonymous with Eurovision and its removal did take some of the scale away from the event.

The hosts were a right pair. Pat Kenny remains a hugely successful broadcaster in Ireland, but seemed to have a charisma bypass in the wings mere moments before Eurovision '88 hit the air. He spends the entire evening comparable to a high school school geek who can't believe his luck at being chosen to compere the Prom. Michelle Rocca is now the longtime partner of Van Morrison and has even featured on the cover of his 1994 No Prima Donna album. But as her appearance at Eurovision proves, she was never destined to be the world's greatest TV presenter.

But it was still a very watchable show.

The painful facts about 1988:

(a) Switzerland finally won Eurovision again in 1988, 32 years after taking the trophy in the Contest's maiden year. Such happy news was sadly clouded by the fact that this win helped bring dreadfully bland belter Celine Dion to the world's attention. Although these days, the Quebec-born songstress looks very presentable following the attentions of a legion of stylists, 21 years ago, the wardrobe department of Swiss telly saw fit to set Ms Dion's perm in chip fat and have her wear something which looked like the result of a night of rough and tumble between her nan's best net curtains and an adult nappy.

Not only that, but host broadcaster RTE thought Celine would love nothing better than to be filmed for her pre-song postcard standing on a tractor as it cut its way through a peat bog. Check out the footage below, even the overly saccharine Celine struggles to give a 'goodness me, this is very interesting' nod of appreciation as she teeters precariously on the tractor's viewing platform. Ooh, if only she'd fallen off... (hush my mouth).

Winner 1988: Celine Dion performs Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi for Switzerland. Dressed as a shuttlecock.

The winning song was written by the silver-medalling composers of 1986, Nella Martinetti and Atilla Seraftug (who also conducted the orchestra) and Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi (Don't Leave Without Me) was an anthemic power ballad with a driving beat, the sort of song which had never taken the trophy before this point and the sort of song Celine, sadly, chose not to record much afterwards, turning instead to a string of formulaic earnest love songs where her voice always went quite high in the last verse and chorus.

Fair play to her, she did give a flawless performance and Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi was the overriding favourite with the bookies. This makes it even the more remarkable that Switzerland won the 33rd Eurovision Song Contest at the very last moment and in what, for three short years, was the closest finish ever. The Yugoslav jury gave Switzerland seven points, enough to put it one place ahead of the UK, but if the remaining eight, 10 or 12 points to be called went to Britain, then victory was Blighty's. Yugoslavia didn't give the UK any points at all, so Celine won by one point. Or, as Terry Wogan described it: "one heartbreaking point."

Bruce Forsyth was right to feel annoyed, but as time - and internet fan polls - have proved, the best song won on the night.

(b) Still, an extremely narrow defeat was a far rosier result than 13th place a year earlier.

Yugoslavia, France and Netherlands, a point each from all of you and this man would have won and the world would be spared that dreadful Dion woman. Think on.

The UK entry in 1988 was Go, performed by Glaswegian gent Scott Fitzgerald. In 1978, he had a big hit with the song If I Had Words (the one the farmer sings when he's in a rare moment of good humour in Babe) but 10 years later he was working in the city's meat market.

Drawn to perform in the fairly graveyard slot of fourth, this was the first ballad-style song to represent the UK since Kenneth McKellar 22 years earlier. Perhaps if it didn't sound so much like the obvious successor to Johnny Logan's title-holding Hold Me Now it would have been a more attractive choice to the people dishing the points out but the song marked a real return to form for Britain. Go was the first UK entry to earn silver for 11 years and only our third top three placing in a decade, something which would have been unthinkable in the '60s and early '70s.

With three juries to go, Scott was 15 points clear of Celine, but the remaining three countries to vote (France, Portugal and Yugoslavia) would only award him a grand total of three points, whereas they mustered up 19 for Switzerland. Singing in the same venue where Bucks Fizz had secured victory seven years earlier, Scott even earned the same score as Cheryl and Co (136), but this time around, it just wasn't enough for a win. Perhaps he should have ripped his pants off.

A despondent Scott - alledgedly - begged the BBC to put him forward as their pre-selected representative for 1989, so that the public could pick him a different song to win with. The BBC didn't, but it did mark the start of a (brief) period where the Corporation had better luck with its Euro songs.

(c) The UK and Switzerland were a long way ahead of the rest of the pack, but squeaking third place was something very daft from the Danes.

Surely there's seven people on stage here? A shocking disregard for the rules.

Eurovision rules dictate that a maximum of six performers are allowed on stage during the performance of a song, any more, and it's instant disqualification (the drama...). The closest anyone has ever got to breaking those rules happened in 1988 when the six-strong Danish group was led by the heavily pregnant Kirsten, who gave birth just two weeks after securing bronze for Denmark. It was Hot Eyes' third showing for Denmark, having finished fourth in 1984 and faring rather dismally in 1985.

Perhaps it was the novelty of a pregant singer appearing on stage which won some juries over, or perhaps it was just the cardboard guitar wrapped around the conductor's head at the end of the song. Either way, Eurovision would be a duller place without moments like this.

(d) Lara Fabian is now a huge star in many parts of the world, not so much in the UK but she is certainly known and has performed here. Back in 1988, she was plucked from the contenders pile by the ever resourceful Luxembourgeoise to represent them in Dublin. She was dressed in the sort of jacket Melanie Griffith wowed her superiors with in Working Girl and the song, Croire, really appealed to the juries - even if Boom Bang a Blog files it under 'd' for 'dull'.

Cracking shoulder pads. Shame about the song.

Lara finished fourth, including a top score from hosts Ireland and, ironically, has been chasing Celine's tail in the ballady-lady market ever since that night.

(e) Ireland sent a very contemporary-sounding group and song the short distance to Dublin. Jump the Gun's Take Him Home got the biggest cheer of the night (understandably), but not a massive amount of points, finishing in eight place.

The Irish entry which deserved to place a lot higher.

(f) This is the best Eurovision story ever. For years, Israeli diva Yardena Arazi - who co-hosted the 1979 Contest - had been in a tussle for top-cat position in her homeland charts with 1983 runner-up Ofra Haza and was regulalrly asked by Israeli telly if she would represent the country at Eurovision.

Yardena said she would, as long as she had a song which would win without any trouble at all. But as well as assured songsmithery, she also turned to the stars for assistance. When the draw for Eurovision 1988 was made, Israel was in ninth slot in the draw, singing just before Switzerland. Yardena's most trusted clairvoyant assured her that song number nine would indeed win the Contest that year.

Ask this woman's clairvoyant for your lottery numbers.

A confident Yardena then got cracking with the presentation of her song Ben Adam (one meaning of which can be taken as 'Son of Man') which, to be honest, would have struggled to win whatever slot it had in the draw.

While all this performance spit-and-polishing was going on, the Cypriot entry - drawn second in the running order - was discovered to be a new version of a song written and publicly performed in 1984, instantly rendering it ineligible. Cyprus therefore withdrew from that year's competition at the last minute rather than rushing to find a replacement.

This withdrawal meant every song - bar the opening number - shifted back a spot in the running order. Israel thus became the eighth country to perform and Switzerland the ninth.

So Yardena's clairvoyant was spot on. Song number nine would indeed go on to win the 1988 Eurovision Song Contest.

(g) The biggest song to emerge from the 1988 Eurovision Song Contest wasn't among the 21 entries vying for the title. It was the one performed in the interval.

The emerging Irish group Hothouse Flowers had already had a glowing endorsement from U2's Bono after a performance on Irish telly in 1986. So, with a bit of help from the European Film Board, the band were filmed performing their signature track, Don't Go, in locations from the tip to toe of the continent. It created a lavish promo video which served as both the interval entertainment while the juries were making their minds up and a handy accompaniment to the single release, which made number 11 in the UK.

Hothouse Flowers with the best song of the night. Shame it was the interval act.

Although, it does make you wonder if the chorus of Don't Go during the voting process subliminally put the juries off the UK entry.

(h) Here's how the voting ended. Once the Italian jury had given the UK 12 points and Switzerland just one, it really does look like Scott Fitzgerald is cruising to victory. A bit like Cliff Richard's fate 20 years earlier when the final country to vote was... oh yeah, Yugoslavia.

It really was that close. Brucie's not happy.

Still, the UK had won four Contests in the time between Switzerland's first win and its second. Eurovision was going back to its birthplace for its 34th year and the woman who was responsible for taking it there was on the verge of becoming one of the biggest recording stars in history.

Unfortunately.