The answer to all our problems?

But those twins. Oh, those twins. They've got to go. The most damning piece of evidence against them so far is that they couldn't muster up the courage to sing on the stage of the empty (yes, we said 'empty') O2 Arena. And still the public kept them in.

There were many subtle - and non-subtle - asides from Sir Andrew, his little helper Lulu, who seems to have forgotten her loathing of Boom Bang a Bang and her whole Eurovision experience for a slice of primetime Saturday night exposure, plus the decades-defying Arlene 'Strictly' Phillips in and around Jade's performance to suggest she is the preferred choice, at this juncture, to be assigned Mission Moscow. Boom Bang a Blog wouldn't dare to suggest for one moment that they're trying to guide the viewers' votes. That would be plain naughty.

More encouraging is the news that Diane Warren, a woman who has won more songwriting awards than the Greeks have had douze points from Cyprus, will be the lyricist for the UK entry in Moscow. Hopefully, she'll be helping Andy out with the tune as well, as she's more used to churning out three-minute pop smashers than her co-writer is.

Diane wrote a song for Celine Dion (but we'll forgive her that past indiscretion, since she's being nice to the UK), as well as Starship's splendiferous Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, Cher's missile launcher-straddling anthem If I Could Turn Back Time and Aerosmith's I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing. Hmm... Mr Webber seems to have made a sensible choice.

If you want to compare this 2009 effort to the UK heats of 2003 - won by the nil-pointing Jemini - the most famous songwriter in the British selection that year (which was broadcast in 45 minutes one Sunday lunchtime) was the man who wrote the theme tune to Howard's Way.

Goodness me, we're almost proud to be British again. Just as long as we don't send The Twins.