Cheats Never Prosper

By Jamie McLoughlin on Sep 7, 08 12:47 PM

Aw, well done Poland. They've just scooped their first ever Eurovision title, 14 years after their impressive debut at the Song Contest (they took silver in 1994) by sort-of-moonwalking their way to the 2008 Eurovision Dance Contest trophy.

The United Kingdom finished ninth (not a double-digit position - let joy rain down upon us all) out of, umm, 14 competing nations, but let's not be churlish. Instead, we shall concentrate on the winners.

Here is how the final scoreboard looked after the final votes had been cast in Glasgow last night.

1st: Poland - 154
2nd: Russia - 121
3rd: Ukraine - 119
4th: Lithuania - 110
5th: Azerbaijan - 106
6th: Denmark - 102
7th: Greece - 72 (although they should have been disqualified for cheating)
8th: Portugal - 61
9th: United Kingdom - 47
10th: Finland - 44
11th: Ireland - 40
12th: Sweden - 38
13th: Austria - 29
14th: Netherlands - 1

The BBC really know how to inject a lot of fun into a Eurovision, as the presentation certainly wasn't as po-faced as some of the previous Song Contests have been. And Po-land certainly won't be po-faced this morning, either.

Here is the winning routine from actor Marcin Mroczek and dancer Edyta Herbus. As an extra treat, this YouTube clip is non-BBC, so you get to see a foreign TV commercial too. Super.

Highlights of the evening from the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre (I once saw Blur there. And Bjorn Again) included the Azeri gentleman blatantly trying to swing the vote Baku's way by proposing to his partner during the post-dance chat with hostess Claudia Winkleman. Not to mention the BBC commentating team of Strictly Come Dancing's Len Goodman and that Craig with the double-barrelled surname, whose right wing comments about the continental voting were pure Daily Mail.

A man from the Netherlands confused the Dance Contest with the Song Contest and earned him and his partner last place on the scoreboard, while the cheatin' Greeks had a wardrobe malfunction, but still got a really high score from the professional judges. As did the rather mediocre Russian performance, which also got a massive vote from many of its neighbours to earn itself the runner-up spot.

Eurovision? Rigged? Never.

A big thumbs-up to Graham Norton too, the likely successor to Terry Wogan's commentary mic in Moscow next year. A bit of non-scripted banter with the jury spokespeople can make the voting a lot more fun to watch.

And as the BBC has now made good its deal to host the first two Dance Contests, it is likely to be a very, very, very, *very* long time before a Eurovision event sets foot on these shores again.

Bit of a shame, really.