The Finalists: United Kingdom, Germany, France, Spain and Serbia

Any hopes Blighty had of making a better-than-usual impact on the scoreboard went straight down the U-Bend the moment our Serbian host put his hand in the pot to determine which slot in the running order Andy would perform in and unfurled a scroll bearing the number every Eurovision fan dreads: '2'.

This is not good. The second song sung has never won the Contest, even in the days when only 10-16 nations entered. The first entry on stage has won the Contest three times, even the third song in the show has taken the trophy on more than one occasion - but never the second. This is also the third time in six years the UK has been drawn here. You'd think the people of Europe didn't like us.

However, all is not bleak. History shows that the only nation which consistently musters a decent placing from this draw is none other than this sceptr'd isle.

From this accursed slot, Kathy Kirby took silver in 1965, Olivia Newton-John finished fourth behind ABBA in 1974, Jessia Garlick shared bronze with hosts Estonia in 2002 and in 1996 Gina G came... umm, eighth.

Go 'ead Andy. Show 'em what you're made of. If you can win in these circumstances you'll be the greatest Eurovision trooper of them all.

Boom or Bang?: Eurovision 2009 at Liverpool's Echo Arena would be lovely, but we're not holding our breath.

Germany: No Angels - Disappear

You may be wondering why the five nations listed in this entry don't have to go through the semi final process.

As Serbia won last year - and have gone to the bother of organising the thing - they qualify as title holders, but for the other four it's for a far more simple reason. Money.

Without the financial contribution put in by the BBC and the German, French and Spanish broadcasters, quite simply, Eurovision couldn't go ahead each year. Not on its current scale, anyway.

With Germany the richest nation taking part, the EBU had to put this rule in when a qualifying system was trialled in the run-up to the 1996 Contest. Said system saw the much-fancied German song miss out on a place at the Oslo final. There were rumblings of TV Berlin taking its ball home for good, so since 1999, the rule was introduced that the four countries who bring the most to the table always get to stay for pudding.

It's a good job they have the moolah then because, unlike Britain and France's impressive Eurovision track record, Germany's is nothing less than mediocre. Their only victory so far is Nicole's A Little Peace which won at a canter in the glamorous surroundings of Harrogate Conference Centre in 1982.

Their song this year could change all that, because it's a little cracker of a pop song.

Performed by No Angels who, goodness me, were formed through a reality TV show it's one of the most contemporary offerings in evidence at Belgrade. There are reports that No Angel's live performance of Disappear is a painful experience.

But if they can nail this, vocally, this is one song which will do a lot better than the naysayers are predicting.

Boom or Bang?: It would be great to see this do well.

France: Sebastian Tellier - Divine

Dustin aside, this is the other song getting the headlines in the UK this year. And all because it doesn't have any French in it.

This is, by far, the best thing France has submitted to the Contest in years and a blessed relief from their endless string of dreamy chanson. Straight out of leftfield, the much-respected Sebastian Tellier (he's worked with Air and other such credible types) has come up with this lo-fi retro number.

Divine sounds like a Stereolab cover of a Beach Boys hit. Very tongue-in-cheek, it bobs along from beginning to end, but if there's one thing which could scupper his chances, it's that Divine doesn't have that vital key change or middle eight to hold the viewer's interest come the two-and-a-half minute mark.

It is heavily rumoured that Seb will enter the stage on May 24 in a golf buggy (ANORAK MOMENT: If so, that's the first time a proper *moving* vehicle has been used in a Eurovision entry. Aren't you glad we're here to tell you these things?).

Hopefully he's going to brush his hair and trim his beard as well. His nan might be watching.

Boom or Bang?: Deserves to be top five

Spain: Rodolfo Chikilcuatre - Baila el Chiki Chiki

Spanish telly asked for potential Eurovision entries to be submitted as links to the artist's MySpace page, which - obviously - had to have a potential entry on it. An internet vote would then be held to finalise the 10-strong shortlist for the TV final.

It sounded like simplicity itself.

It descended in to chaos.

Votes had to be discounted when it was found skullduggery was afoot, sending the song in second place down to the bottom of the pile just days before the final was due to air. Rehearsals for the show were, by all accounts, shambolic and the song selected is one of the most ridiculous ever submitted to Eurovision.

Baila El Chiki Chiki is a peculiar beast, performed by Rodolfo Chikilicuatre who looks like Rolf Harris' thinner twin with a cross between an Elvis wig and an ice cream cone as his crowning glory.

This was the overwhelming winner of the Spanish heat, suggesting that - like the Estonians - people are resigning themselves to the fact the Contest is now an Eastern European phenomenon so you're better off turning up and having a giggle than trying too hard to win.

That said, this very silly song (it's got something to do with chickens, we think) has been tipped by some to do rather well.

But not by Boom Bang a Blog.

Boom or Bang?: This won't do the triki

Serbia: Jelena Tomasevic - Oro

If you've stuck with Boom Bang a Blog since the beginning, give yourself a pat on the back. You've made it. The 43rd and final 2008 entry we're previewing comes from this year's host, Serbia.

Mind you, even if you clicked on our look at the songs Montenegro to Moldova, then carried on reading each and every preview in order, you'd still be finished quicker than the time it took the Serbs to choose the hometown entry for 2008.

The Serbian heat was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo long. And very dull.

The gap between the performances of the prospective entries and the reading out of two sets of scores was filled by about two hours of very famous Serbian pop stars being wheeled out to sing some very weak pop songs. At least in the UK we showed Casualty and Love Soup before announcing who was off to Belgrade.

Now, here's the thing. A man called Zeljko is the co-host of this year's Eurovision, and will be on scoreboard duty as the results come in from all over Europe. He is also the man who wrote the Serbian entry. If it does well, he'll have to try extra hard to maintain the air of neutrality expected of Contest presenters. Zeljko will have to try extra extra hard if Oro does badly.

It won't do badly, as it's the home entry for a nation with lots of neighbours eager to vote for it. Oro is also the sort of song that's been heard many, many times at Eurovision before.

Can we be honest? Why not, we've been blogging for ooh, at least a week and a bit now.

This is really, really, really boring. And it has a very good chance of winning.

Boom or Bang?: No lower than third

That's it. We're done with the previews. If you've been with us since the beginning, you now have an idea of all 43 songs taking part at Eurovision 2008. Reward yourself with a biccy. A chocolate one.

Who's your favourite? Who's going to win? Will it be music or politics that triumphs?

We'll know those answers a week from today,